This morning I went to my normal workout at 7:00 am. I always know it will be tough and I will have to dig deep and just get through it, but this morning was pure torture. After finishing one of the tougher workouts I have ever done they led us outside where we continued to bust our ass for another grueling ten minutes. Just when I thought I did not have anything more to give they kept at it. I am usually a pretty quiet person when I workout. No grunting, cussing, or complaining. I just want to get it done. This morning I have never wanted to yell the word that starts with "F" and ends with a "K" so bad in my life. I was actually angry. It was so hard that I wanted to cry. I think I may have at some point, but you couldn't tell because I was sweating so much. It is times like that when I am physically and mentally weak that I find myself noticing how I really feel about things in my life. It is as if I have knocked down all the walls that I put up and all that is there are the true and raw inner thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I think I pretend I don't care so much that I actually believe it and times like this give me a whole new view of what is going on in my head. Although it isn't easy to get to these places and it certainly isn't pleasant I always have a sense of peace afterwards.
As if I accomplished something.
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