Be Kind

Kindness: the quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic.

I think this is one of the most important qualities that a person can have. I think we all forget to be kind when we are wrapped up in our own little world, making sure that we are going to be ok, rather than recognizing or thinking what others around us may also be going through. Sometimes when you are in the midst of a rough patch that is all you can think about or concentrate on. It is difficult to be compassionate when you can't seem to stand on solid ground yourself. But you never know who may be going through something similar or even harder.

My New Year's resolution is to be kind and compassionate to everyone I come in contact with. No matter what.

Looking forward to a happy and healthy 2011.

Amigos

I think I may have some of the greatest friends in the world. Sometimes I feel like I take my friends for granted because they are such a constant in my life. But lately I have been realizing how wonderful they really are. No matter what I do they are 100% supportive. Don't get me wrong, they definitely offer their opinions, but at the end of the day they are behind me, whatever I decide to do. They remind me who I am when I am down and out and completely disoriented. They cheer me up and drag me out when I think I cannot possibly be social. They help me pick up the pieces when I feel shattered. And above all else, they have helped me have some of the best times of my life.

I am partial to the quote, "If you can count all your true friends on one hand you are a very lucky man (woman)". I consider myself more than lucky.

At times I find myself asking myself this question (taken from a Ben Harper song),"With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?". Sometimes it is easy to let a boy walk in your life and steal all of your thoughts, demand all of your attention, and ultimately drive you crazy, only to completely disappear just as quickly as he appeared. This is when I remember how many people I have around me who care. Until the right one comes along I don't have room for that. I have too many people to appreciate.

Thanks friends.

Diggin Deep

This morning I went to my normal workout at 7:00 am. I always know it will be tough and I will have to dig deep and just get through it, but this morning was pure torture. After finishing one of the tougher workouts I have ever done they led us outside where we continued to bust our ass for another grueling ten minutes. Just when I thought I did not have anything more to give they kept at it. I am usually a pretty quiet person when I workout. No grunting, cussing, or complaining. I just want to get it done. This morning I have never wanted to yell the word that starts with "F" and ends with a "K" so bad in my life. I was actually angry. It was so hard that I wanted to cry. I think I may have at some point, but you couldn't tell because I was sweating so much. It is times like that when I am physically and mentally weak that I find myself noticing how I really feel about things in my life. It is as if I have knocked down all the walls that I put up and all that is there are the true and raw inner thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I think I pretend I don't care so much that I actually believe it and times like this give me a whole new view of what is going on in my head. Although it isn't easy to get to these places and it certainly isn't pleasant I always have a sense of peace afterwards.

As if I accomplished something.

I cannot stop thinking. I wish I could just shut my brain off and pretend I didn't have a million things racing back and forth every minute. I find myself wanting to turn up the music as loud as possible to drown out my thoughts. I feel like my brain is going to explode. I have decisions, scenarios, ifs, ands, buts, hypothetical situations, anything you name is racing through my head. ALL THE TIME. I want to turn on some white noise, throw my phone and computer out the window and go lay in a hammock and just be. No more thinking.

Just noticing.

Lately I have been making small mental notes regarding very random issues. I am choosing to post them here instead of verbalizing them to my friends, because I am afraid if I tell people around me they may think I am a horrible monster. I hope you don't think I am a horrible monster. Just read them, agree or disagree, then move on.

- Christmas is great. I really love it. Seriously, I do. But I hold firm to the belief that there is a certain appropriate window to celebrate Christmas. I think this window is from December 15th until December 25th. Within that window you are allowed to listen to 95.5 at a high volume and even sing along if you would like. You can go crazy with the Christmas decorations at home and at work. You can say "Happy Holidays" to everyone you see. But only for that time. Also, wreaths or antlers on cars are NEVER allowed.

-Sometimes when I see old people eating by themselves I want to go sit with them and listen to their stories.

-Grown men should never drive with their shirts off.

-There is something about 6 Pence None The Richer that makes me want to cram my fist through the dashboard when it comes on the radio.

-Nothing is exactly what it seems, nor is it otherwise.

-I like the way skunks smell. Sometimes I even roll down the windows.

-I need to be more patient.

- A quote I found on my tea bag. It's nice: "We are all spiritual beings having a human experience."

- There is something about living in Europe that makes life seem so much more simple.

- Heavy phone breathers give me the chills. Do they know they are doing it?

- When people write on bathroom stalls, do they enter the stall with the intention of writing on the walls, or does it come to them as they are in there, and they just happen to have a permanent marker in their purse?

- After people have owned their dogs for a while I think they start to look alike. Take a look around, it's true.

- Why is it so hard to stop laughing when it is really not appropriate to be laughing.

- Hunting ear plugs are the key to great sleep.

-Driving through East Texas makes me so grateful to have grown up in a big city.

- You win some you lose some.

- Mix CDs given to me as gifts still make me unbelievably happy. I don't care how old school they are.

- Crash Test Dummies always cheer me up. Yes, the band.

- Nothing is better than a bike ride with some good music.

- Homeless people always have the cutest dogs. strange.

- I need lots of sunshine in my life.

That's it for now.