Sometimes I think I have too many plans. Too many stipulations. Too many limits I place on myself. Over the next four months my life is going to change, somewhat drastically. I just want to let things happen like they are supposed to happen. I don't want to run from something just because I am going to leave. I don't want to avoid a risk because of what is to come.

I just want to be. And to enjoy the ride.

I'm Thankful.

Every year at this time someone asks me what I am thankful for and I always feel like a boob because I don't have some well composed sentence or list of what I am thankful for. So I made one and here it is:

I am thankful for:
My family - for being just as crazy as I am.
My health - i have not been sick once this year.
Having patient friends that tolerate me even when I am a recluse
Having a car that doesn't break down and cause me to sell to Mexico for $300.
For the nice ladies that help us care for Sweet Pat.
For Tyler working behind me so I laugh at least 75 times per day
For Kim for making me a mix cd that i haven't stopped listening to for 5 weeks straight
For Nico keeping me motivated to wake up at 6 to work out.

For the ridiculous opportunities I have waiting for me in 2011!

I am thankful for a lot more but my brother's new fiancee and her whole family are about to walk through the door and I need to be on my best behavior. Which would not include hiding upstairs.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

The Crazy ones are the best

I recently signed up for an 8 week Spanish class so that I could get back into speaking/understanding Spanish again. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I did a quick internet search and found a place, called, paid the fee, and showed up for class for the first time last week.

The class is held once per week and lasts for four hours. It was THE most wheels off learning experience I have ever had. At one point during the class I was rapping the ABCs to a "beat". After that I found myself singing La Bamba (in a mumu and a sombrero and leopard skin sunglasses) in front of the class. Then towards the end of the class I was lying on my back while the "maestro" opera sang a script in Spanish about a man that owned a chocolate factory in Mexico City. I swear to God I thought I was on a Spanish version of Punk'd and at the end we were all going to get $100 or something. So that was the first week.

Last night was the second class. While I still found myself doing outrageous things throughout class I was getting a better idea about his style and why he chooses for us to look like jackasses while learning Spanish. His whole approach is to have us revert back to learning like children. When you are a child you are a little sponge, absorbing almost everything that is taught (in some way or another). People remember words and phrases when the learning environment is less structured and more fun. Some people are extremely averse to this style of learning because it demands that you jump out of your comfort zone. Fortunately, I love it. I am looking forward to seeing how much I can improve my Spanish!

The waiting game...

Yesterday I applied to both Backroads and to Grad School at University of Colorado at Boulder. Now, I wait.

Some days I am confident about my chances, some days I am not. I tend to prepare myself for the worst. The next 6 months of my life are going to be huge. I am anxious, but I am ready for a change. I have this strange desire to scare the hell out of myself. I have an amazing job, I work with people I love, and I can't get enough of Austin, but there is something missing. I cannot explain it to anyone, but I just need something else.

At times I am pretty sure I have lost all of my marbles and I should be saving for a house or putting money into a 401k plan, or trying to settle down in some way, shape or form. But then, I step back and look at the big picture and realize that I am SO young. I have time for all of that, "when I grow up". This is not a crafty escape from the real world. I look at it as seizing an opportunity that I will never have again. I don't have a husband/serious boyfriend, I don't have a dog, I don't have any kids. What I do have is the freedom to do WHATEVER I want right now. I almost feel like it is the one time in my life where I have zero responsibilities other than myself. I know it can (and will) change, but for now I am seizing the day. I am taking this chance and I am running.

I can't wait!

Cut Out the Ropes and Let me Fall

I realized this evening, while driving home from work, that I am at a crossroads in my life. I guess you could say I am experiencing the typical twenty something quarter life crisis or whatever they call it these days. I am 27, I have a great job, I love this city, I have great friends and a wonderful family, but there is something missing.

I have always been a huge supporter of the question, "If I died today, would I die happy or would I die with regrets?". Up until now I have not had too many significant crossroads. But right now I am presented with several different directions I can take my career and ultimately my life.

Every part of me is saying to jump and take the risk. There is a chance that I could fall flat on my face and there is a chance that this risk can render me the happiest person in the world. While it scares the hell out of me to fail, at least I know I tried. I have to keep reminding myself to look at the big picture. I don't want to look back on life with any regrets. All signs point to jump.